I no longer had dreams except drinking
My life was in absolute void that I continuously tried to fill with a bottle. I had tried getting sober once before and was told it would get worse if I went back. At the time, like many before me, I couldn’t see how that was possible. It definitely got worse for not only did my literal drinking get worse, but lost my self completely.
I no longer had dreams or aspirations to be or do anything besides drinking. I had gone from a boy full of dreams of being successful to facing living on the streets and “having a plan” to do so and be fine with it.
My son had been taken away, I had lost all friends and family, and was left only to drinking cheap liquor and couldn’t be sober. Waking up in shakes and needed to literally run to the liquor mart or grocery store so I could feel some form of normality. I had burned through 6 jobs in 2 years and was close to becoming unemployable. Life had gotten terrible and I couldn’t see it.
I honestly don’t know what made me decide to get sober. I had tried going to AA’s but would show up drunk. I reached out to my old rehab but again, showed up drunk. I lost my son a couple weeks before I reached out but I was actually happier about that.
I knew in the few moments leading up to my reaching out to my family, that I had a problem and couldn’t stop but there was not a one “ah hah moment”. Something in me just kept reaching out and finally I got an opportunity to get help and I didn’t even know it was going to be a rehab, just knew it would help me get better.
I didn’t chose Costa Rica Recovery but my brother who had gone their earlier and my second mom and dad liked the treatment he got there.
At the time I had no insurance and no money for rehab. All rehabs near me cost 10K+ and so Costa Rica Recovery was an affordable solution.
I was welcome very warmly by both the staff and patients. I arrived late as most do and the staff offered me food, the clients offered me cigs and showed me around and just made a stranger feel welcome in a place that one who hasn’t stayed sober in what seemed like years, to feel OK enough to get sleep and give it a try.
My stay was very nice and fulfilled all my needs and more. First, the weather and atmosphere of Costa Rica are amazing. Its feels like your in a resort and this is coming from someone who has lived their life in California.
The food was excellent and the lady cook really cared about her patients. The rooms and beds weren’t bad at all. I know some of us become high and mighty when we get there but if I really look at what I had back at home (which included a very nasty soiled mattress that was very old and broken furniture), the bed was at least clean and fulfilled its job.
The teaching staff of James, Tony, and Paola were amazing. I think the balance between Tony and his strict raw demeanor contrasted by James welcoming hippie ways was perfect for me. You had to gravitate to one or the other at least. They both provided great teachings that I still carry to this day.
I am eternally grateful to them.
I felt the food, atmosphere, education, working out, yoga, great community among most patients, and the ability to explore a new country really helped me find a new way of living. Finally, the meetings with all the ex-pats really helped me feel connection to home.
I feel amazing and so grateful for sobriety. I am 2+ yrs sober and have a much better life. I could go on for a long time to the many gifts sobriety has given me but to save you from a novel I’ll just give the big highlights. I’ve learned to have a relationship with a higher power. I’ve learned to reach and become my potential.
For so many years I knew what I was capable of and ran from it. Today I get to strive for it. I’m not perfect but even 80% is good for me. I have a sense of gratitude that has replaced my perfectionist side that only let me see what I didn’t have and not what I do. I have a relationship with myself and get to correct and grow everyday but also love and appreciate myself.
Today I get to strive to become a son, father, grandson, boyfriend, friend, coworker, employee, etc that brings happiness, support, and love. I’ve walked through the 12 steps twice now in different ways and it has shown me myself in a way I never would’ve seen and I feel free.
Life is worth living and I’m grateful to be grateful.
I definitely recommend Costa Rica Recovery and if I could ever be part of something to help advertise for it or be a help to it up here in California, I would find it an honor to do so.